Sex and the City 2 AKA How to Undo Everything Good You Ever Did

Hi all,

I know, I’m a little late on this argument, but I have 2 cents and I gotta give it to someone. I  watched Sex and the City 2 yesterday, and I need to vent.

I firstly should let you know that I actually enjoy the TV series. I’m not a die-hard fan, but I’m definitely not a hater. The TV series blew away stereotypes, and was the first series I could relate to as a single woman whose friends had become more important to her than her family. And it had sassy, sexy, ladies using the word “cunt” unapologetically. It made me laugh.

But then the first movie came out and I thought they’d kind of started to lose track of what the original point was. It was OK. My best mate fucking loves it, I’m quite happy to forget it was ever made. To me it was basically a really long ending. Which was funny, cos then they made another. They really shouldn’t have.

You see, the complaints that I had read about it had more to do with it not having the same spark as the series. That kind of complaint I usually disregard and make up my own mind. I knew going in that I wasn’t going to enjoy it as much as the people I was with, but I didn’t expect this. In terms of narrow-minded, patronising, judgemental racism, The Blind Side has fuck all on this pile of faeces. Note, I’m gonna spoil the fuck out of this, because I really have no respect for it. You’ve been warned.

For the first hour (in this 2.5 hr chickflick, don’t get me started on that) it’s just like an episode of the TV show. There’s even some of the snappy dialog that won me over in the first place! I started to think that I might even enjoy it! Then they went to Abu Dhabi and I went to hell.

*Sigh* It’s just… I mean… >.<

Bear with me, I’m trying to find the words.

As a film attempting to have something to add to feminism, this movie decided to make comment on the behaviour and treatment of women in the middle-east. It was so badly handled that I could not believe the script was approved. From the point that they arrive, Samantha walks around in next to nothing while Miranda chastises her for being disrespectful. YA THINK?? Of course, Samantha makes a big thing about her being a sophisticated, sassy, independent woman, and I get the shits on. You don’t go to someone else’s fucking country and shit on their customs and beliefs.

In an attempt to show some sort of lesson about respecting other peoples beliefs, Samantha is arrested for making out with a guy on the beach. After proving herself to be less of a sophisticated, sassy, independent woman, and more of a rude, disrespectful whore, her whole deal that had scored them the trip is called off and the girls are forced out of the hotel. Hijinx ensue and the girls find themselves in the middle of a market, surrounded by religious men, with Samantha throwing around condoms shouting that she likes to fuck. You know what? I like to fuck too. You know who’s face I don’t feel the need to throw that in? My Muslim friends. Nor my Catholic friends, come to think of it. And that’s here, where you can’t get thrown in prison for it.

But the part that REALLY pissed me off, came just after that scene. The girls are rescued from being arrested by a group of women wearing traditional veils and robes. But wait! The women throw off their robes and display some of the most horrific “fashion” I’ve ever seen, proving that under the veils of tradition and faith, even the modest women of the East are as vain and obsessed with meaningless, materialistic crap as we Westerners are! So the girls learn that deep down, every woman, everywhere in the world, yearns to be exactly like them. Hooray!

Then, FINALLY, it ends. I turn to my friends, hoping and praying for a response similar to my own. I get “what was all the complaining about?”.

I blame Twilight.

I don’t really know why, but I just ranted for a long time, so it felt natural to mention it.

 

del.icio.us Tags: sex and the city,racism,sexism,christ that movie was shit

Pontypool. Watch that shit!

First, a mini-review.

Pontypool is a Canadian horror set in a radio station. The employees of the station are going about their morning as normal when a strange report comes over the police radio and a few strange calls start coming in reporting riots. The reports escalate violently and it becomes apparent that the people of the town are being hit by a peculiar virus.

By setting this film, indeed restricting it, to a radio station, the makers of this outstanding film are able to create one of the most tense cinematic experiences available. The tension, ohhhh the delicious tension, is created by a slow, uncertain, drip... drip... of details combined with the genuine concern  and panic displayed on the employees faces and heard in their voices as they realise this is not an ordinary day.

This really is one of those diamonds that comes occasionally appears from the low-budget horror film "rough". See it. That's an order.

From this point on, I’d suggest those who haven’t seen Pontypool to stop reading. I have thoughts that I need to remove from my head that are not so spoiler-free as the above mini-review. For a unspoiled first viewing…

OK, now that the kiddies have gone to bed we can talk about this in more detail.

You see, as soon as it became apparent that the virus was carried through language, two things popped into my head. The Tower of Babel, and Snow Crash. For those unaware, the Tower of Babel is a bible story that explains the diversification of language. The basic story is that for the generations after the great flood, humanity was united under a single language. They gathered together and decided to build a tower so tall that it would have it's top in the heavens. Unfortunately they did it as a symbol of the glory of man, not of God. This pissed God off for a variety of reasons so he confused their language and scattered them to all corners of the globe. Hence why there are so many languages.

The novel Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson, uses the story of the Tower of Babel to suggest that there is a forgotten language that all humans have an innate understanding. This awesome cyberpunk novel talks about the original language working like a computer virus that infects our minds instead of our computers, allowing us to be controlled. Once again, it’s the understanding that causes the infection.

Ever since I first read Snow Crash, I’ve found it to be an incredibly intriguing thought. Now that I’ve seen seen Pontypool though, I can’t help but add a small degree of terror to that intrigue. It’s well established within the horror genre that “the unknown” is infinitely more frightening than the “known”. Add to that a complete inability to protect yourself. I mean, seriously, Grant said it. How do you make yourself not understand something? What if you didn’t even know you understood it?? *Shudder* It’s enough to keep you up at night… night… I mean, not day, it’s not night… night. night. night… *pop*

del.icio.us Tags: Pontypool,Tower of Babel,Snow Crash,language,virus,fear,unknown

The Badass, The Magnificent Bastard, and The Crazy

Otherwise know as The Good, The Bad, The Weird.

People who know my love of South Korean cinema know I’ve been dying to see this movie. Well it just so happens that I found a job after only 2 weeks of searching so I rewarded myself with the purchase of this film. I didn’t get it for a steal. I paid full price and was happy to do so. I’ve been trying to find this bitch for as long as I’ve know it exists but I often have an allergic reaction to paying full price for movies (note: full price for movies in Perth is $25). Considering I recently ordered 3 movies for less than that online (including shipping), you can see why it pains me. But I decided to splurge.

Thank God I did. It was oustandingly fun and hilarious. The basic synopsis is that The Magnificent Bastard (AKA The Bad, Lee Byung-hun) is hired to steal a map from a Japanese official. The fun starts when The Crazy (AKA The Weird, Song Kang-ho) steals it first. Bounty hunter The Badass (AKA The Good, Jung Woo-sung) just wants The Magnificent Bastard (don’t we all!) because he believes he’s the notorious Finger Chopper. Meanwhile, the independence fighters want the map, as does the Japanese army. The word “hijinks” doesn’t even come close.

The real superstar in this is The Crazy. The comedy he brings to this role is just brilliant. I knew Song Kang-Ho was capable of being funny (even the most serious role I’ve seen him in has a touch of humour to begin with) but I hadn’t seen him in an intentionally comedic role. I’ve said it before, South Korean comedy kills me. I was laughing loudly throughout. However, The Crazy also has the benefit of being the most developed character, which also helps set him up as the favourite.

After The Crazy, The Magnificent Bastard gets a decent amount of development as well. Why do I call him that? Because that’s what he is. He’s magnificent in his nasty ways, from laughing at his old boss before killing him, to shooting one of his own men to steal his horse. He’s damn good, and damn good-looking, and he knows it. He’s one of those irritating shits who has a right to be as cocky as he is.

The Badass doesn’t really get much in the way of development, but if there’s one scene where he shines it’s the uber, mega, chase/gunfight. From the moment The Badass joins the chase and the music changes to the classic disco track “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” by Santa Esperanza, I was hooked. In fact, it’s how The Badass earned his new name. Riding a horse, shooting a rifle, he reloads by spinning the rifle around his finger. Bad.Ass. THEN, he turns around and rides back into the Japanese Army.

This is the kind of film that gets referred to as a “rollicking good time”. If you have someone you’d like to expose to South Korean cinema without frying their Hollywood-fed (or starved) brain, this’d be a good place to start. I urge everyone to give it a go.

del.icio.us Tags: South Korea,Song Kang-ho,western,gunfight,chase scene,foreign,movies,reviews

Lusty, Lewd, Lollygagging Lists of Enlightenment

New segment! Woop woop! Put your hands in the air, Yo!
This one is clearly my list segment. I love reading lists, so I figured it was about time I started making them. The reason these are Lists of Enlightenment is simply because they are constructed using only my opinions, thoughts and feelings. As such, they may enlighten my readers to various aspects of my personality that would otherwise have remained unknown. So, today’s list is:

Top 5 Movies to Turn me into a Snivelling, Slushy Bag of Sap
That’s right, these are the movies to remind the world (and myself) that I am a woman and actually quite capable of being reduced to a giggling ball of fairy floss as well as a sobbing mess.

5. Pride and Prejudice
The BBC series, not the Keira Knightley, “didn’t really need to be made and really wasn’t as good” number. I know it’s technically not a movie but I could care less. Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy *sigh* *swoon* *sigh*.

4. JSA: Joint Security Area
No, this isn’t a girly movie, but my reaction was. At the point where I realised how this was going to end, I got quite upset. When it finally happened, I wept. I’m not ashamed, it was a magnificent film and I’m glad to still be affected in this way. So there :P

3. Love Actually
This movie is played every Christmas and every time it comes on I get a big ol’ smile on my face and say “I looove that moooovieee!”. I blame Colin Firth and Liam Neeson. And possibly Bill Nighy just a bit ;)

2. My Sassy Girl
This movie made me laugh, cry, laugh again, and go “Awwwwwww! That’s so sweeeeeeet!” (pitch should increase to the level of squeaking). And I finished on more tears. Then I watched it again with my Mother, and I still teared up. It just rocks so much :)

1. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Yeah, this film destroyed me. If you need more details, go here. I’m not explaining it again.

So that’s my list. Let the ribbing begin…

del.icio.us Tags: Movies,girlie,crying,sweet,sad,funny,Colin Firth

Movies to Grow Up to – The Battle for Endor

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been inspired. The source of that inspiration? The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnight Cinema podcast.
“Oh,” you might be thinking, “we don’t need any of THAT sort of inspiration here.”
But it’s totally not what you’d think! And besides, they weren’t responsible for any of that nasty salsa waffles business anyway.*

It just so happens that I was a-listening to the GGtMC’s most recent podcast and the topic got onto what movies The Samurai intends on showing the new edition to his family (Mrs Samurai is expecting! FTW!!). It got me thinking about the films that helped me grow into the she-geek extraordinaire you see before you. Now that I’m 30, you see, I feel I’m allowed to say things like “you know what’s wrong with kids these days?” I also feel like the answer of “they watch the wrong movies” is actually a pretty good one.

So I’ve decided to start going through the old movies I used to watch repeatedly as a youngster. I plan to make this a regular feature. Hopefully I can give some future parents some ideas, or at least get some nostalgia juices flowing. Yes, I know what I just said there…

The first film I’m going to talk about is the result of yet another twitter conversation. I recently mentioned the term Caravan of Courage and was immediately rewarded with recognition by Emily, creator and owner of the XTREEEEEM Deadly Dolls House of Horror Nonsense. Yeah. She cool, yo’. She then reminded me of the other Ewok title.

The Battle for Endor

This film is the sequel to The Caravan of Courage. It centres around Cindel, the little blonde girl with the ace headband and totally rad curly hair, and Wicket W. Warrick, Ewok. The basic story is a group of nasty marauders led by King Terak and the witch Charal attack the Ewok village, killing Cindel’s family (thank God, that snarky teen brother is infuriating) and capturing the Ewoks. Cindel and Wicket escape and manage to find the only other human on the planet, Noah. Noah also has a funny, furry friend named Teek (not an Ewok). They join forces to defeat the baddies and save the other Ewoks.

*Smile* I love this movie. It’s dodgy as all bollocks. The acting is absurd, the dialogue more wooden than Keanu Reeves and somehow Wicket can talk, which is funny because this supposedly takes place before Jedi where he meets Leia and can’t understand English. But Teek is disgustingly cute with a spectacularly addictive giggle and the monsters are genuinely monstery. Not the sanitized, plastic attempts at scary you get in kids films today (sans Pixar). On top of that, you’ve gotta admire Warwick Davis and Niki Botelho. Both of them ran around in the summer wearing teddy-bear suits. Forget. That.

*Sigh* Meeeemoriiiies. Light the cooorners of my miiind…

* Not for public consumption.

del.icio.us Tags: GGtMC,nostalgia,Ewoks,Caravan of Courage,The Battle for Endor,Star Wars,Deadly Dolls

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Hey champs, fiends, and inbetweenies, I’m done with discussing the cowardice of anonymous commenting and I’m back to reviewing movies from my 4 Week Subtitle Sensation.

First off, my review of I’m a Cyborg But That’s OK is up on (Cool)Shite. Go check out the review and then watch the film because it is awesome :)

Secondly, here’s my review of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I’ve posted it on here because this review is going to go into a little detail on some personal experiences of mine, so I decided it should probably stay on my personal movie blog. I guess I should warn you that if you’re looking for a clinical, intellectual or unemotional review, you’re reading the wrong blog but I will break it up.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly tells the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, French a journalist who was the editor of Elle magazine until he suffered a massive stroke. The stroke leaves him with a condition known as locked-in syndrome, where he is completely self-aware but paralysed and unable to speak. Through the patience and encouragement of a brilliant speech therapist, Bauby learns to communicate by blinking his one functioning eye as she reads reads a list of letters to spell out his messages. As a well respected journalist, Bauby had already signed a contract with a publishing firm for a book deal. In a pretty incredible act of faith the firm agrees to send a secretary to take dictation, allowing Bauby to write his book.

Intellectual Side

The direction of this film is superb. At the beginning of the film we are restricted to seeing what is happening through Bauby’s eyes. We hear what he is thinking in response to the people speaking to him, but the camera only moves with Bauby’s good eye and we experience his frustration at being unable to communicate or move. It’s not until Bauby himself begins to look beyond his loss and see his future that we as an audience are allowed to do the same.

From then we see the writing of the book juxtaposed with Bauby’s memories, his recollections and regrets. We see him find similarities in others who find themselves “locked-in” to their situation, and we see him attempt to reconnect to his family. The movie flows perfectly from the writing to the story being written about and back again. It never feels heavy-handed nor sappy, but if you don’t find yourself moved then I would seriously consider checking your pulse. You could be a cyborg.

Emotional Side

I remember when this film was release in Australia. I didn’t go and see it in the cinema and I have to say, I’m pretty glad about that. I’m also glad my friends and family didn’t go and see it. You see, about a month before the Australian release of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Dec 2007) I suffered an intracranial brain haemorrhage, otherwise known as a brain bleed. I experienced aphasia (couldn’t speak) and lost all feeling to the right side of my body. At the time of its actual release I was in a rehabilitation hospital. I heard about it because my speech therapist was going to see it.

That was 2 years ago (last November). It didn’t take long for me to start speaking again, nor did it take long for me to walk again, but the feeling of not being able to do those things is not something you forget. Consequently, watching this film was like a rollercoaster for me. About 20 minutes in, I fell to pieces, put myself back together again, fell to pieces again, and so on. And the ending completely destroyed me. The imagery of the diving bell that is used when Bauby is feeling completely isolated is just striking. Likewise when he has his awakening of sorts and starts embrace his rehabilitation (the first of my little breakdowns), the depiction of the honest, human therapists who are genuinely concerned with his wellbeing reminded me of the people who helped me. 

I found that the true brilliance of this film was in the small details. Things like the awkwardness of some visitors who couldn’t quite hide their grief, the well-meaning staff turning the television off, or the person who should have come to visit but couldn’t handle seeing him in his weakened state (there’s some contention about whether that actually happened, but I didn’t know that when I was blubbering into my puppy).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this film is pretty damn real and heart-wrenchingly honest.

And if you or anyone close to you has ever had a brain injury, get ready for a shit-storm.

Update – The Exceptional

Hello again! I’ve managed to find myself with my laptop and no TV, so I’ve resolved to get as much writing done as possible. Right now I’m on a train on my way to Kalgoorlie.

My last post went through some of the great films I’ve been watching as part of my 4 Week Subtitle Sensation. In this post I’m going to go through some of the exceptional films I’ve been watching. These are films I recommend everyone watch, though I’ll mention which are horror (not everyone enjoys horror).

Attack the Gas Station
Hilarious! It’s like a Korean Airheads,  but with less reason and more madness! Everyone needs to see this film. Everyone :)

Audition
*Shudder* Whooee. There isn’t much I can say about this film without spoiling it, but I want to advise that it’s pretty much the slowest burn to ever stay alight, so give it a chance.

Inside
Horror, and then some! Almost too realistic. It’s quite possible to imagine the events of this film playing out exactly.

JSA: Joint Security Area
Oh God, that was so sad. You can see what’s going to happen, but you have to wait the whole film to learn exactly how. I was distraught afterwards. Just ask my twitterfiends!

Let The Right One In
Original vampire movie. I know! There’s 2 in this list! Beautifully shot, slow-burn film. Loved it.

Martyrs
Has it’s own post but it has spoilers. It’s an uber-intense study of torture, madness and faith. Not for the faint hearted.

Tetsuo
Cyberpunk, noisy, madness. Listen to the VCinema Podcast (if it’s out yet *dig dig*). Actually, you should be doing that anyway.

The Bird People in China
Awwwww! I loved this movie! The yakuza is my favourite. He’s funny from his first scene :)
I should probably mention its a Takashi Miike.
 
Thirst
Chan-Wook Park’s take on the vampire thing. Very awesome (of course) with Park’s usual quirky humour which I am completely in love with.

del.icio.us Tags: Exceptional,subtitles,review,movies

Update Time! – The Greats (so far)

Hey all, I promised an update, so here it goes. I’ve actually had to turn the TV off to get this done. It’s too massive. If it’s on it demands your attention. I found myself watching Seinfeld yesterday. I don’t fucking like Seinfeld.

Anyhoo, my 4 Week Subtitle Sensation has been going quite well, with 14 movies watched. All have been great with a handful of the exceptional. Just to catch you all up, I’m gonna list them with just a few words on each. Todays post will be on the great films. I’ll cover exceptional in my next post.

Azumi
A great Japanese tale about a young female assassin. Really awesome humour and great fight scenes. I recommend it to anyone who likes Kill Bill.

Castle in the Sky
A Studio Ghibli anime directed by Miyazaki Hayao. Apparently it’s their first official feature. It’s lovely, of course :)

District B13
Very cool futuristic movie by Luc Besson. The best part is the stunt work. It was all parkour, with no wires or CG. Really worth seeing.

Les Diaboliques
Old French mystery. Decent suspense and great plotline. I’m fairly sure it’s now freely available online, so check it out.

Ninja Scroll
Not your mama’s animation. Uh, very original storyline :D Really great old guy. A total crack up :)

Martyrs - not a review (complete with spoilers)

So, the 4 Week Subtitle Sensation has been going well since Wednesday. The first film I watched was not Martyrs, and I promise I’ll do a post on what’s been seen since I started, but right now I need to get Martyrs out of my head. If only so I can free up my brain for watching other things.

Firstly I’m going to say that this post is only for people who have already seen the movie. You see, to write about Martyrs is to spoil it. I’m not going to do a synopsis, nor a summary. I’m just going to talk about my feelings about it so if you haven’t seen it, it may not make much sense.

Secondly I’m going to make sure you’re aware that things don’t often get to me. I watched Cannibal Holocaust, laughed at my friend for throwing up, and finished it by rather analytically stating that the director did himself a disservice by killing the animals but that I could see what point he was trying to make.

But Martyrs got to me. In a really big way. At first it goes along as expected. The creepy violence gets started a little earlier than expected (like, before the title appears) but that’s all good. I was creeped out with woman attacking the young girl, but nothing serious. It got serious once we arrived at the house. From *ding dong* *door opens* BOOM, I started getting more and more affected by this film.

What starts as a horror film becomes a study of insanity. The moment when you realise that Lucie is doing that shit to herself, it’s a revelation equivalent to Unbreakable. My brain had no idea what to do with the information. So, to maintain the order of things, my brain decided that she must have been completely nuts and that the family she just slaughtered were innocent.

Course, that’s when Anna finds the trap door with the tortured woman inside. The entire sequence with the tortured woman had me devastated. Devastated that Lucie had been right, devastated that I had doubted her, devastated for this innocent woman who had a metal plate stapled into her head to cover her eyes. To then hear the explanation that the same madness that caused Lucie to kill herself had caused the tortured woman to cut at her arm to get imaginary cockroaches off…

To be honest, what happens to Anna didn’t get to me as badly as the earlier scenes (that’s when my analytical side got to have a go, I found the concept of martyrdom intriguing). I’ve been thinking about what that might mean and I believe I have a greater fear of losing my wits than I do of experiencing great pain. Makes sense I guess. I just don’t think I’ve ever had it so clearly illustrated until now.

Quite a fucking film.

del.icio.us Tags: Martyrs,insanity,torture,other hilarity

The Shutter Island Experience

G’day ramblers. How’s things?

Last night I managed to score tickets to see Shutter Island at an advanced screening. I have to tell you about it. It was so great! I had two tickets so I took my sister. She enjoyed it too, so it wasn’t just me fangirling after Scorsese (ooooh Marty, you make the BEST movies *squeak*).

The film starts with U.S. Marshall Teddy Daniels on the ferry going to Shutter Island. He is investigating the disappearance of Rachel Solando, a patient from Ashecliffe which is a hospital for the criminally insane. She was there for murdering her three children, but apparently she had no memory of the event. From the point he arrives, Teddy senses there is more going on at Ashecliffe than the good Dr. Crawley is letting on. When a storm hits the island and wipes out the power and the backup generator, the prisoners escape and provide Daniels the opportunity to explore unhindered. Hi-jinx ensue.

Do you know what doesn’t happen often anymore? Filmmakers don’t often use artistic techniques to generate specific responses from the audience. I’m not just talking about music to create tension, I’m talking about using silence to create even more tension. Or lighting. Or weather. It’s something that foreign films still do, but a lot of Hollywood filmmakers take shortcuts. Not so with Master Scorsese.

The first thing that will hit you is the music. It’s dark as heck, and loud. Not bad loud, but it makes you uncomfortable. Then there’s a lady in the garden. Creeeeepy. The dream sequences are magnificent and again, creepy, and the scenes in ward C were fabulously tense. But I think my favourite technique was the humanising comedy that is dropped in at the best moments. I’m not gonna quote any of them. Wouldn’t be funny here anyway. Ya gotsta be there ;)

The performances are outstanding, which is to be expected given the cast. For me, the more noticeable awesomeness came from Ben Kingsley as the the peculiar Dr. Crawley, Michelle Williams as the dead yet chatty Delores, and the two smallest parts, Elias Koteas and Jackie Earle Haley. Don’t get me wrong, Leo was awesome as well, but these guys were mental.

So that’s my quick review. Now go see the film.

del.icio.us Tags: Martin Scorsese,Leonardo Dicaprio,Shutter Island,Review,Movies,Michelle Williams,Jackie Earle Haley,Ben Kingsey

Deadgirl Review at Cool(Shite)

Heya zombie fans.

My review of the excellent Deadgirl is up at Cool(Shite). Check it out here!

del.icio.us Tags: Deadgirl,Jenny Spain,Grace,Horror,slow-burn,Unbreakable

LAMB Devours the Oscars - Up

Howdy all!
Just a note to say that my write up of Up and its Best Picture nomination is now at the Large Association of Movie Blogs (LAMB) for their LAMB Devours the Oscars event.

Go there NOW!!!

Mega ToWatchPile Update Part San (3) - Vengeance!

Alright guys, this is a wicked long post, but I've decided I don't want to break it up. It's a review of Chan-Wook Park's Vengeance trilogy, which I've just finished watching for the #towatchpile. I watched them completely out of order but I'm a little glad I did. Finishing on Mr Vengeance was a good way to go in my opinion, but I'll get to that. Let me start at the beginning. Once upon a time I decided to ask bloggers to suggest movies that they believe must be watched. I received quite a few suggestions, enough for me to add a button to the side of my blog.

Then one day the wunderbar @MattSuzaka of Chuck Norris Ate my Baby found the call for suggestions and took it upon himself to pave the way to the road to great films. And yea, he didst provide a list. And on that list was Chan-Wook Park's Oldboy. And the Rach didst watch the film and didst cry out!
"YEA! What the fuck was that???"
All did rejoice for Rach was on the path to movie salvation.
And a voice came from the @Heavenztrash (see what I did there?).
"You know its part of a trilogy?"
And Rach understood her journey had only just begun.

Note to self: if you break out into biblical verse, it is time to go to bed.

So, now we skip forward a month and I've finally seen the other two films. I'm going to get this out of the way first. There's an ongoing discussion on the the webbynets about which film from the trilogy is the best. Well, I genuinely feel that the films all benefit greatly when considering them together, but I'm gonna add my 2 cents to the minority and say that I preferred Sympathy for Mr Vengeance. My reasons will become clear later in the review, so lets get started.

The trilogy, for those who haven't seen it, is all about vengeance. I'm not going do a synopsis for each, it's basically three different stories that all focus on different reasons for vengeance, as well as the different ways the vengeance is obtained. There's also three different types of endings, but I'll leave that for a special "spoiler" paragraph.

These films are what I like to call "slow burn" movies (see my review of Grace), and Chan-Wook Park is the slow-burn master. It's not that he "keeps you guessing", movies that keep "keep you guessing" have a use-by date. Instead, he creates a tension with such subtlety that you have no idea it's happening until the cat knocks something over and your heart stops. You find yourself watching the next film with trepidation because you realize how involved you're going to get, and what that's going to do to you after it's finished. In each case the movies leave your mind ticking over at a hundred miles. I replayed parts of each film over and over in my head, savoring it and the genius behind it.

In this age of large, blue monkeys and their flying lizard friends, 3D, explosions, effects, and every other trick designed to make you forget that movies are supposed to have a plot, the use of artistic techniques like slowly draining the color from a film (Sympathy for Lady Vengeance) or minimizing background music to allow moments of genuinely awkward silence (Sympathy for Mr Vengeance) seem almost new. A breath of fresh air, if you will. I also have to mention the clever use of comedy found in the trilogy. It's a very clever way to control tension levels.

 **SPOILER ALERT**

You've been warned.
The different types of vengeance shown in the trilogy. What can I say? I'm going to go through it in the order I watched it. The ending to Oldboy has already been listed as my favorite ZOMG moment in film. It's such a grey-area ending! In the same way that Oh Dae-Su is manipulated to fall for Mi-do, we are manipulated to sympathize with Oh Dae-Su. Hence the ZOMG reaction.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance is very straight forward by comparison, though it would definitely have its haters. It seems to suggest that vengeance can be curative, and that there is a place for it. What I love though, is that the ending is bittersweet. The families know that they still have to live with what they have done.

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance. Phew. Bleak is the word. This movie is about vengeance out of honor more than vengeance out of any real hatred. And that makes it all the more painful to watch. When Park Dong-jin tells Ryu that he's a nice enough fella but he has to kill him anyway, it's heartbreaking.

**END OF SPOILER SECTION**

So why do I prefer Sympathy for Mr Vengeance? Well, technically I don't, I prefer to think of the trilogy as a whole, but there are a number of reasons. Firstly, the ending. I'm one of the people who prefers Empire Strikes Back because of the bleak ending. I prefer an ending to be clever more than happy. Secondly, it was the best example of a slow-burn film out of the three. So much messiness, slowly, slowly building the tension, giving you wallowing time. This is not a film for an impatient person. And lastly its the way sympathy for Ryu is built through juxtaposing the uncomfortable silences with noisy events that he can't hear.

In short, I loved Oldboy and Lady Vengeance, but Sympathy for Mr Vengeance was one of the smartest works of art I've seen.

So, I've put Thirst on my list, what other Chan-Wook Park films do I need to see?

Mega ToWatchPile Update Part Ni (2) - Horror Mania

Hullo everyone. I'm back with part ni of my Mega #towatchpile update. For this post I'm going to go through some of the horror films (dodgy or otherwise) that I've been watching. Please bear in mind that I'm using the term "horror" quite loosely. That means that I'm including the zomedies and anything else that contains horror themes.

Zomedies:

Well seeing as I've already mentioned the zomedies, I might as well start with them. There's 2 that I've recently seen for the #towatchpile, Zombieland and Fido. So much awesomeness. I'm not gonna review Zombieland beyond saying it was hilarious and awesome and it was really good to see Woody Harrelson doing what he does better than mos. If you want more than that then read one of the MILLIONS of reviews around.

Fido
As much as I love zombie movies, I really don't think any of them have ever made me go "awwwww, how cute!" until Fido. A twitterbud (@Heavenztrash) described it as Lassie with zombies, which is a more succinct synopsis than I can come up with (trying not to start chanting "succinct synopsis"). The acting is fab, especially Billy Connolly as Fido. He says more with his facial expressions than a lot of actors can do with a 10 minute monologue. Anybody who enjoyed Shawn of the Dead will love this film. I really want a pet zombie...

2009-ers:
These were some of the 2009 horrors that I hadn't managed to see before getting started on the #towatchlist (and were consequently added).

Drag Me To Hell

I thoroughly enjoyed this film from Sam Raimi. I liked the humor in it as well as the action. It wasn't scary, just entertaining.

The Hills Run Red
A little trashier than Drag Me To Hell, it was still an entertaining (if brainless) watch.


The Children
This one was technically released in 2008. I didn't hear about it til the end of 2009. To see my thoughts of The Children, head on over to The Paradise of Horror for my guest post.

Chuckies
Another series that I never watched in my youth was the Child's Play franchise. Even when I was at the age where I was allowed to hire out horror, Child's Play was never permitted. I don't think it's because my folk thought it would be extra scary, I just think they had no intention of ever sitting through it themselves! But now, thanks to some suggestions from a friend of mine, I have seen all of the Child's Plays and Seed of Chucky. The only one I haven't seen is Bride of Chucky.

So what do I think? I think it plays out much like a lot of horror franchises. The first is a relatively scary and entertaining horror film and it all goes downhill from there! Seed was ridiculous, but entertaining. I just hope they stop making them, though. The madness has gone on long enough.

That's the end of part ni. Come back tomorrow for part san :)

Mega ToWatchPile Update Part Ichi (1) - Trek-along Y'all!

Hi All. I've realized that I've been actively watching movies from my #towatchpile without posting any information about it! I've also added a bunch and am always happy to add more (it should be called the towatchbottomlesspit). So this is my start. I might make it a regular segment :)

Star Treks 1-6 (minus 5) + Star Trek (the new prequel-ish one)
I know. I'm 30 at the end of February, a movie geek, and I watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture for the first time at the end of last year. In my defense, my sci-fi love comes from my Dad, and he never liked Star Trek. My first viewings of Star Wars, Alien, Blade Runner, and Predator were all with my Father, consequently I was never introduced Star Trek.

So when the new one was announce... well, I didn't care. But when it was announced that Zachary Quinto would play Spock, suddenly I needed on this bandwagon (mmm, Sylar). But I didn't want to be the annoying fuckstick in the cinema going "What? What? Why was that funny? I don't get it.". To avoid this, I didn't see it in the cinema. Instead, I watched all the Star Trek I could get my hands on. I have to say, I'm damn glad I did.

The new film is great fun and has some great references to the originals, but the best justification for my marathon was to recognize the awesomeness of Karl Urban as Bones. A lot of people rave about Quinto's Spock and ,don't get me wrong, he was great, but Urban was hilarious! Having watched Star Trek 6 days before watching the new one, I can tell you he was spot on. Not mimicking, but acting as a younger version. Loved it.

So if, like me, you've never a Star Trek film but wouldn't mind seeing the new one, do yourself a favor and watch at least one. You won't regret it. Or if you do, you were never going to love the new one anyway.