Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Inglourious Basterds Spoilerific Review-ish Part Eins (1)

inglourious-basterds-movie-poster1This is a review-ish because if you haven’t already seen Inglourious Basterds, reading this review probably isn’t going to make you. So these are my opinions on it and the criticism against it. It’s gonna be long, so I’m going to break it up. I know you all love it when I do that :P

First up, I love Inglourious Basterds. It was funny, the-bear-jew-inglourious-basterds-donnie-donowitz-bear-jew-n-demotivational-poster-1251053330exciting, clever, original, and Hitler died at the end. It was a period piece, a spaghetti western, a fairytale, a black comedy, and a violent gangster film. And Hitler didn’t just die, he was pulped by a thousand bullets smashing into his face, fired from a gun held by Eli Roth. Fucking golden.

So now you know my opinion, but what does that mean? Nothing really, so I’ve decided to go through the most used criticism against it and explain why I feel the the people making these criticisms have completely missed the point of an utterly genius film. Kthx.

I’m going to start with the minor complaint of “wah wah, not historically correct, wah”. Mostly because a friend of mine used it quite recently. This to me is a ridiculous complaint. I’m going to use an obscure film reference to illustrate my point:

There’s a rilly-rilly-great film called Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. It’s an absurdist piece written by Tom Stoppard, all about the characters of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern from Hamlet rosencrantz-and-guildenstern-are-dead-800-75(if you need more incentive to watch it, it stars Gary Oldman and Tim Roth). At the beginning of the film, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are betting on coin flips. Rosencrantz bets heads each time and wins ninety-two flips in a row. They run into a troupe of tragedians and are offered the opportunity to take part in a show (for a price). Standing on the stage, Guildenstern makes a bet with the The Player that if the coin comes up heads, they get the show for free. It comes up tails.

What’s my point again? Oh yeah, its the same as the point Stoppard was trying to make. On the stage (or in film) anything is possible. So if anything is possible, why the hell would someone like Quentin Tarantino write a WW2 story that didn’t involve killing Hitler? In order for it to be historically correct, QTs characters would need to have had absolutely no effect on the outcome of the war. But that goes directly against the characters he created! Personally, one of the biggest reasons I loved the movie so much is BECAUSE it was taken into the realm of fantasy. If we can’t watch Hitler getting his comeuppance in a movie, the what the hell are movies for?hitler-target-copy At this point, the naysayers usually change their tune to “wah, wah, but kids will start to think it’s fact, wah”. That’s not a criticism of this movie, that’s a criticism of the education system. Please direct your complaints there. If Tarantino was actively trying to pass the film as fact, then I could understand this complaint, but he isn’t. The title of the first chapter is “Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France…”. How stupid are your children?

So, that’s the end to Part Eins. Tune in later for my discussion on the criticism that the film is anti-German.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My First Premiere

Hi all.

Gah! I have so much to blog about so little bloody time! I'm on leave at the moment but do you think that means anything? Hells no, I'm on my 4th day of actual leave (not including weekends) and in that time I've only watch 2 movies! And one of them was a premiere in the evening! I need to go back to work so can find a bit more movie time...

But speaking of the premiere I went to, it was Sherlock Holmes and it was great :)
You can read about the actual movie here ( It was Cool (Shite) who gave me tickets, so I won't be reposting the review here. I'm a trained web developer so redundant information makes my eye twitch.

But I will go through my premiere experience here. See, it was my first time *blush*. I live in Perth, Western Australia (which I've menioned once or twice) so there weren't any stars at our premiere, but that didn't stop the cinema from getting all official. No mobile phones at all, and no recording devices at all, and they used the wand thing to make sure you weren't lying. I felt like mentioning that other parts of the world were already screening the movie and that it would only be of value for about a day, but there was a chance that would have resulted in "access denied" and I wasn't missing Sherlock Holmes for the sake of giggle.

Oh, and seeing as the coolshite review isn't really the place for it, I'd just like to mention that Robert Downey Jr is crazy hot in that film. Ca-raaazy hot. Just sayin.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I really should post something…

So here it goes.

Sorry for the few updates in the couple of weeks. ‘Tis the season, dontcha know, and that means there is not enough time for ass-scratching let alone blog-posting. I’ve got a few projects on the go that I’ve either been thinking about doing or already started but haven’t had a chance to post anything about them. So this is my update post.

First off, my last post mentions my review of 9 at I was put onto the site by KingMob ( and Kingmob6). He also  reviews for them and he remembered that I’m from Western Australia (big, big thanks again). I’m hoping to be doing more reviews for them. In most cases I’ll post a slightly shorter version of the review here and link to the full version at CoolShite.

Next up is my New Years resolution to empty my “to watch” pile. Again I was put onto it by a tweeting-blogging-blipping-movienut, this time Heavenztrash (In Nervous Convulsion and Heavenztrash). He’s set up a support group for those wanting to clear their unwatched movies in 2010. If you’d like to be a part of it, go here and post how many. You have until New Years Eve. I’ve already gotten started, but keep finding that for each movie I take off I end up adding 3 more. I’m at 70 unwatched, but I’m determined.

So determined in fact that I’ve decided to commit to watching the “1001 Movies to Watch Before You Die” list. See, I realised that a lot of the films on my “to watch” list are already on the 1001 list. Now, I’m not committing to get it done any time soon, I’ve just decided that if I’m renting movies for myself (don’t want to inflict my decision on others) they will be from the list. First I have to figured out what I’ve already watched though. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Go and see 9

That is all. 9-movie-poster

What? You want a reason? Pffft, no faith.

Well I really can’t be bothered reposting my review from so you can find it there. Instead I’m going to go through the numbers and decide what aspect of humanity they represent. (Why, you say? Go see the movie, says I).

  1. Caution. He would rather hole up indefinitely than be free.
  2. Invention. Or perhaps Insight. He’s interested in 6’s drawings instead of disregarding them as scribbles.
  3. &   4.  Memory and curiosity. They catalogue what they find and are always on the lookout for new things.
  4. see 3.
  5. The Observer. He watches.
  6. Madness? Or maybe Empathy. He seems to know some truths within his ramblings.
  7. Courage. She’s the only one to keep fighting when 1 creates his sanctuary.
  8. Protector.
  9. You could argue that 9 is all of these, but I think he’s Honour. He believes in doing what is right.

My favourites are 3 and 4. They’re awesome.

Let me know what you think of my assessment. Agree, disagree, think I’m reading too much into it, let me know! Tags: ,